The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Good: You're pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a
vasectomy five years ago.
Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce.
Ugly: He's a lawyer.
Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman
next door. Ugly: So are you.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several
pornographic movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them.
Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
Good: You give "the birds and the bees" talk to your 14-year-old
daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections.
Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your
co-workers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than
you do!