New Rules As A Result Of the new law banning same sex relationships(A MUST READ)

Dear female friends, (cos I can no longer address you as girl friends)
Due to the new law banning same sex relationships, please note that I shall no longer:

1. Address U as dearie, Boo, sweetie, babes, etc. These names may be misconstrued by some over-zealous law enforcement people. Henceforth I shall address you by name *Kate, Ketrah, Sandra, Stephanie, Hope, Dolly, Dooshima, Judith, Wunmi etc*

2. I shall no longer hug, blow kisses or hold hands with you. Only handshakes and eyebrow wiggles are allowed. I shall cease sending you smileys like *hearts, hugs, kisses*. Do not send them to me either or I shall delete U from my list to guarantee my continued freedom.

3. Dancing together at parties is now forbidden. If we see in a public place, don't wave excitedly at me. A queen Elizabeth sad wave will do. Anything beyond this, I ll ignore you.

4. If you must express your love for me, please add agape at the end. I am writing this cos I love U all AGAPELY and wouldn't want to end up in the women's section at Kirikiri.

5. It's dangerous for us to share bathrooms now. Please wait until am through or bath elsewhere. Girls night out and sleepovers are banned. Please stay in Ur house so we can have our liberty. If U must visit me, plz bring ur mattress and room dividers.

6. No more lifts. Endure the sun or buy your car.
You understand, don't you? Fourteen years imprisonment is a long time and I am not MANDELA.

By:  Sevilcoz Patrick