What He Really Means when he's Talking

 I'm hungry = I'm hungry
 I'm tired = I'm tired
 Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
 you
 Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
 you
 Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
 You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
 What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you
 going through now?
 You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
 Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
 Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
 I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress
 and let's go!